The Journey. It’s Mine. [Raine’s Mom, Problogger, Techie-wannabe, Wheelchair-Traveler]

what happens when this lady’s baby is left with these three men? este, three rowdy boys?

this…

…this…

and this!!!

and then a couple of hours and a straight hair later…I come home to this…

had I not been the one who downloaded the images, there wouldn’t have been an evidence to what they been up to while I was gone.

When we truly love someone, we give our best and let that person see the pureness of our intension. But sometimes that person makes us cry and hurts us for the wrong reason. That someone must have loved us. But he/she has not loved us enough to make him/her stand for what he/she truly felt. Now we are faced with the seemingly impossible task of forgetting. We have burdened ourselves long enough but we still can’t get out of this emotional trap. Let us remember that the more we try to forget someone we love the more painful letting go will become.

Sometimes we never have to take that person out of our hearts at all, for he/she will always be there. No matter how hard we tried to drive him/her away. It isn’t his/her presence that makes this difficult. It is our stubbornness to accept our destiny. That aligns forgetting next to impossible. We keep a cold face but deep in our hearts there still that lingering hope for a reconciliation. Somehow, we still believe that we can rekindle small embers and we light the fire that once burned in our hearts. These thoughts give us hope but it also breeds the seeds of loneliness and despair. The only way to forget is to accept. And the only way to move on is to look ahead and let the footprints of the past be blown by the winds of time. Only then can our hearts find a partner in the dance of life. And hopefully never get lost again…

-Author unknown

That’s right. Given a choice between rice and potato, it’ll be potato. Rice or noodles? Then noodles it will be.

And in some cases that Raine opts for rice (when left with no choice); he eats the viand separately like this and would eat the plain rice later. Though he’s more than happy having fries for dinner or lunch. Yep, he can gobble a regular serving in one sitting.

I’m a 200% rice eater…one of those who can’t live a day without rice. I work with rice and for rice. But it seems my Raine is starting to develop a palate totally different from mine.

My claim to motherhood will not be complete if I will not mention the twins: Geonard and Gerry. I’ve been a mother (and still is!) to these two, way long before Raine. Born 14 years after my younger brother Gary, just when my parents were convinced that they’ll be just raising 2 kids in their lifetime. They planned to have a third child when Gary was 7, but ended up with twins when he (Gary) turned 14. My mother was 40 years old.

Nat and Ye (nicknames they made for each other) was born on March 18, 1988 (Year of the Dragon) – a day of solar eclipse. Nat came out at 1130 am that day just when the eclipse was over and Ye followed through 30 minutes later. They were fondly referred to as the “twin dragons” by the hospital staff.

These twins took our family’s life by storm; both literally and figuratively. Now Nat and Ye are both university freshies taking up computer engineering and food technology respectively. The “storm” isn’t over yet. Happy 17th birhthday kambal!

We nearly escaped a fire (or explosion) and would have burned the apartment down (and probably the neighbors’ house too!) due to my mere stupidity (and forgetfulness) by leaving the kitchen stove on to boil a pot of water before going to bed. My knees still shake everytime I think about what happened and what could have happened more if I was not awaken by Raine’s unusual stirring in bed at 1 o’clock this morning. I found half of the kettle “flaming red hot”, the room unusually warm due to all the water vapor, a half burned pot-holder and the stove table (made of hard plastic) starting to melt where the burner is located. (yeah..imagine that…que horror!)

Raine had bouts of gastroenteritis and amoebiasis recently. (Even if we never used the tap water for drinking and cooking. “Clean water” is delivered weekly.) Since then, I’ve been boiling water for Raine’s use. Usually, before going to bed at night. So that in the morning, water would be tepid enough to transfer to the sterile feeding bottles. — And this I usually do first thing upon getting up or at least short before we leave the house for Raine’s daycare (then) or (now) before my daily housekeeper arrives.

Last night I’ve no excuse except that I was unusually tired and forgetful.

I guess it wasn’t our time yet, at least not such a tragic end. I believe in God, in Saints and Angels…after last night…I do believe even more.

The chinky kind of eyes (like Raine’s) have a certain kind of appeal…let’s just say the X-factor kind of appeal. Well, the appeal may not be worldwide (I’m not sure about this for a fact) but here in the Phillies they make so many hearts swoon. Especially nowadays that chi- and korean-telenovelas are occupying most of our local TV airtime at primetime. So chinky eyed actors are becoming household entities. People may not know their real/screen names (unless they’ve got english names) but sure their faces can be recognized by practically anybody who watches TV.

Anyway, where was I? Ah ok, let’s go back to the chinky eyes. My father has got chinky eyes (and his father and grandfather before him)…the kind the disappears when laughing or smiling…which in turn will result to the little wrinkles called laugh-lines on each corner. (Sige na nga, let’s give credit to the one “who just died”… Raine’s bio-dad got chinky eyes too. Yeah ok…so I had this “thing” with chinky eyes!)

(Hindi ako nagbubuhat ng sariling bangko. Sige, palakpak lang to the max ang tenga ko.) Whenever I am out with Raine…many heads turn our way…Raine’s way(!) and can’t help mutter the nice complimentaries like: “uyy, ang guwapo (or pogi, take note: never the “cute”) nung bata”. “uyy, ang bibo (or smart) nung bata”. Of course without directly throwing the compliment at me. But those who were kind/smart enough to assume/realize that I am the mother of the guwapong bata would throw the nice comments directly at me and to whom I just give back a shy smile of thanks. (Pero wag ka, sa loob-loob ko lang, super-proud ako!) But there are really times when instead of the shy smile, I give the annoyed smirk, when I get some of these:

“uyy, ang guwapo ng bata…anak ng hapon?…japayuki ang nanay?”

“uyy, ang guwapo naman ng anak mo! (and looks at me in disbelief)”

And a few variations of the same effect.

Oh yeah I get insulted. But most of the time I am real proud that I’ve produced something as beautiful as this. That phenomenon si called gene vigor. Whatever it is, it’s certainly is in my genes. Though I have the stretchmarks and that long line of ugly scar in the middle of my tummy to prove it. (Oh and to those suspicious of baby exchange in the hospital nursery…I was the only maternal patient when Raine was born, he was the only baby in the nursery. He he.)

It took two weeks of convincing (and conditioning) the egocentric mind of this little man before he gave in to the hair cut. But then he behaved real well while the electric razor was doing the rounds over his head — which deserved a cone of ice cream afterwards. Much to the delight of the parlor “badings” to whom I’ve been trusting to meddle with my hair for the last 10 years or so. By the way, this has been Raine’s third time to get a “skin-head”.

Furthermore, I know it’s not very advisable for toddlers to get hold of any weapon of destruction. But just this one time, indulge me please… while my shaolin kid poses for the camera without much fuss.

Here goes…

I’m not exactly sure who or what he is trying to imitate: could be a mixture of Shaider (and some other Japanese Anime characters) and the Mulawins. (I know, I know…bad choices of TV programs for kids of Raine’s age…he he…bad mommy!)

It’s summer and with El Niño in tow, the dry spell will hopefully be extended. (I hate it when the rain comes as early as May like it normally does.) As much as I wanna enjoy the sun this weekend…the flu has finally gotten under my skin–after trying so hard to ward it off for a couple of months now. (you know, bawal magkasakit!)

Hayy…thank God it’s Friday.