The Journey. It’s Mine. [My personal take on love, life, parenting and blogging.]

Since last week my boss has already asked me more than twice already: Is there any rumor that PGMA is going to declare May 2 (Monday) a holiday? To which I consistently answered: None so far…but that’s ridiculous, Labor day (May 1) already falls on a sunday!!

Much to this government’s strategy on saving energy and allowing more family time (implementing a 4-day week): hay naku mas lalo pang naging inefficient ang mga serbisyo. My boss griped, what about us? (we have families too but we work science)

I was still adamant Monday would be a normal day, until a few minutes ago when we receive this:

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IRRI
INTERNATIONAL RICE RESEARCH INSTITUTE
Office of the Director for Administration and Human Resources
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MEMORANDUM 29 April 2005
TO : All IRRI Staff
FROM : (Signed) Ian Wallace
SUBJECT : 2 May 2005, Non-Working Holiday

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has declared 2 May 2005, Monday, as a non-working holiday in honor of the Filipino workers.
Essential services shall be maintained as usual. Employees who are on staggered schedule and assigned to work on this day should report for work as scheduled. Non-supervisory employees who may be required to work on this day will be paid additional compensation in accordance with statutory and Institute regulations.
Thank you.

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Beeh-lat.

Red has always beeen my favorite color. When all my attempts on html code self-tutorial have failed, i painstakingly googled for a (free) template with a red streak on it. (read: nainggit ako sa mga nagpalit ng blog skins…he he! )

A month ago i had my hair cellophaned burgundy. (di ba pag praning ang babae, buhok ang napagdidiskitahan?!) Now they’re noticeably red and straight.

My boss is leaving, only a month to go…buhuhu…ma-mi-miss ko siya.

Umiinit ang ulo ko. Matutulog ka na lang, maliligo ka pa sa suka ni Raine. Papalitan mo ang bedsheet, ang damit niyong mag-ina, at sasapinan mo ang basang kutson para makatulog ulit kayo. Naiinis ako kay Raine, konting iyak, konting ubo…tiyak baliktad ng sikmura ang kasunod! Ok lang kung minsan, kaso gabi-gabi na lang! Ginagawa na yatang excuse yung pagsuka para makuha gusto niya. Napapa-suntok ako sa pader sa galit, grrr!!!

Maybe i’m not really fit to be a mother. I just don’t have the patience and the right heart for it. Kahit anong mangyari, di na ako mag-aanak ulit. Itago nyo ‘yan sa bato!

Kelan ba o makakatagpo pa ba ako ng lalaking may totoong paninindigan? Yung consistent ang mga ikinikilos sa mga sinasabi at totong nararamdaman. I would really love to see the day. Lagi na lang kasi…for the nth time…style nyo bulok!!

It has been more than two weeks since the boys went home to bicolandia for their summer vacation. So far there has been peace, quiet and decent orderliness in my little house. But we terribly miss the riot, especially Raine. With these warm sunny days…I bet they’re frolicking at the beach…having fresh buko…gorging on (steamed or ginataan) shrimps and crabs…hayy, i’m suddenly homesick.

Going out with Raine on weekends is usually just a quick trip to the supermarket (incorporated with our long walk to a ‘freedom” park) or to attend the sunday mass. Because i don’t have a helper on weekends, getting dressed up is usually both riot and fun. When Raine is at his most cooperative mood, I would be able to convince him to sit by the bathroom door while mommy takes a bath under the shower. (A bit uneasy for a while but I got used to taking a bath with the door wide open and being “watched” by my own toddler.) Otherwise, we hit the shower together. Well, so much for my own comfort room privacy…

Once the “bath” issue has been taken cared of, dressing up is another obstacle. In my experience, for various imaginable reasons, it is always practical to dress-up Raine first. The only hitch is that, when it’s my time to dress-up i have to deal with a whiney-2-year-old that’s raring to go, who can’t yet comprehend that you want to take a long, good time to dress up, so that when you finally get out of the house, you don’t look like the boy’s underpaid nanny or simply the harassed, stressed-out mommy. Raine does’nt have the brains yet that his mommy simply wants to look good when going out.

So it goes until the nth round…short/jumper…shoes/socks…selecting one or two pieces of toys to bring. Okay, now let’s imagine we both are dressed up…

I’ve long given up on having to use my own brand of soap, powder, cologne, lotion. Lahat na baby products…so we can share. For practical reasons (matipid), and for Raine’s safety too: he usually tinkers with my vanity kit and I just don’t want him to accidentally use any formula that’s too harsh for his young skin.

Yesterday, I was able to ignore all the whinings and in my turn took a very good time in getting myself ready for church. Like what I’ve itemized above…after overcoming all the hurdles…as I was taking a last good look at the mirror…erasing the knot that has formed replacing my eyebrows…taking a last pucker of my well-made lips. For a moment I was lost in my own world admiring the beautiful creation in front of me only to be jolted back to reality with a ” mommy…pogi ka?!”

Nyeks! Ahh…the trade-backs of single parenting! (but that would entail another blog entry)

He he.

Just when I am finally closing-in on zeroing my current negative balance status; just when i’ve finally succumbed to the idea of settling-back to my idle hometown with a boring teaching job; just when i’ve finally taken the first step on acquiring that fresh start I so longed for; just when i’ve pooled all resources, present and upcoming, to make my dream of finally landing on european soil through this come true…Here come’s a great offer of owning a townhouse!

It never fails…it has always been like this. Once I’m ready to leave my comfort zone that is LB; once I’ve decided to pack my bags and go somewhere else unknown and untraversed…something comes along to make me stay: last time a good job offer and now that I’m decided and ready to leave behind everything and everyone familiar and comfortable for the last 16 years; I’m given a huge ticket (at my disposal) to stay permanently.

Crossroads again. Big decisions. I never had to make such important decisions in my life. I only wanted to be a dressmaker and a telephone operator. I only wanted to be able to watch a foreign movie every Sunday, have enough money to buy all the books that I wanted to read and all the shoes that would match my every dress and get-up.

Life used to be so much easier. Where malunggay leaves and camote tops in the neighborhood saves the day. Where I could start gimmick night on a Wednesday afternoon. Where I could read in bed and sleep the day away or watch cable TV to the wee hours in the morning ’till my eyelids bulge and drop!

Those were the good old days. Now I have to think. Decide. Weigh the pros and cons. What. Where. If it were only me, I’ll just close my eyes to sleep and let Darna decide. But now there’s Raine to consider…I’ll be up to tons of liters of black coffee, puffing up some (and more!) sleepless nights away!