Ahh…getting back on track of things is one hard work. One week wasn’t enough to clear the mess on my office table or at least get it to some semblance of orderliness. I just lost a father which made me believe that my life will never be the same again. Yet my son Raine is a constant reminder that our life goes on. He is growing so fast, the neighbors (who haven’t seen him in 2 weeks) can’t help noticing and ask what I’ve been feeding him lately. To such a question, I only wish I could retort: “A good stock of hay, what else!?”
Any guess as to what Raine is doing in this photo?
How do you break to a 33-month old that the only Lolo he has known just passed away?
He thought our
ride home was just a big adventure where a family reunion is waiting at the end. He has never met so many other lolos and lolas, titos and titas, kuyas and ates all at once.
Though I somehow got him convinced that Lolo is now sleeping permanently in peace, never to wake up and has joined Jesus, he has never forgotten to tell everyone who asks him that Lolo has died and is now 6 feet under the ground ( patay na Lolo, andun na siya sa lupa) in his own words. During the wake, he was his usual ala-starstruck kid behavior to the delight of the whole family.
Although it took only 3 days after ‘Pa’s death (on October 3) for all 4 of us (his children) to arrive home, his wake lasted for a week at our residence in Bicol. We had to inform all of his siblings (residing in different parts of Luzon) and wait for them to arrive, to pay their last respects. My grandfather (‘Pa’s father) died 20 years ago while my grandmother lives close by.
‘Pa has a huge family and he was the eldest child. He’s got one full-brother and 11 half-siblings: 6 maternal and 5 paternal. Right, my grandparents separated when ‘Pa was barely a kid (both re-married), he was then raised by his paternal grandmother.
Before I confuse you all with our complicated family tree, it is important to note that it was mandatory to let the clan know. Though most of them we haven’t seen in years. Except for ‘Pa’s sporadic rounds of individual visits in the past, we didn’t have any close contact with them. We weren’t particularly close with each of their families, but given the chance to get together, we are not of bad relations either.
But I guess blood is thick as it can be. Except for one on each side who are currently working overseas, all of ‘Pa’s siblings came home. Despite the mournful circumstance, it was like a family reunion. Well, almost. If only the one who brought such event is not lying cold in a white rectangular box.
Honestly, I would have wanted a quiet wake (no drinking, no playing cards, no bickering) and be able to mourn in private with my mother and 3 brothers; sans the customs, rituals and traditions. But for 9 days and 8 nights, how could I close our doors to sympathizers (relatives, friends and neighbors) who came in like ant colonies?
I guess how good a person one was is measured by how many people came at your wake and funeral. I welcomed those people (even the local drunk who most probably just came for the free booze) and took consolation at their testimonials of how they’ve been inspired and touched by Pa’s greatness and goodness in so many different ways.
‘Pa at Rizal Beach, Gubat. Sorsogon. Photo taken 18 April 2005
Indeed Pa’s memory lives on, in each and every one of them who have got a good (even bad) story of him to tell. Those stories kept me warm at ‘Pa’s wake, that and the belief that he has joined our Lord’s Table at heaven’s banquet.
A child’s birth may be a miracle but not until you’ve experienced a loved one’s death first-hand will you be able to fully comprehend what life is really all about.
Life goes on for me (and my family) but deep in my heart, I will mourn ‘Pa’s death forever.
The past week flashed before me like a dreaded nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. My ‘Pa died last week. He had a heart attack while at sea, collecting sea shells with his buddies. Fortunately his body was found right away but nobody was close enough to save him from totally drowning.
I have no words enough to express my loss. ‘Pa was the best father in the world and no man in my life has ever come close to measuring against him.
Death is something that we’d all face at one point, but when it comes, we still find ourselves surprised in many different ways. My whole family was all caught off-guard by my father’s sudden passing.
We couldn’t accept it and all felt that it was too soon. But deep in our hearts we know that the timing was all right, that he was happy and proud of what we’ve all become and he is assured that we’d all take care of each other.
‘Pa at Rizal beach, Gubat, Sorsogon. Photo taken 18 April 2005
We buried him yesterday. Last night we all slept on the floor, under one huge mosquito net (Yes, all 8 of us: ‘Ma, me & Raine, the twins, Gary + wife & kid) trying to seek comfort and warmth from each other while it poured heavily at midnightI last saw my father about 6 weeks ago.
He visited me and Raine at LB for a week. He was calm and happy.
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To those who sent their sympathies through email and SMS and to those who came all the way here: my heartfelt gratitude. I’m still home down south fixing stuff. I’ll get back to you all soon. I’m reporting back at work on 17th October.
One of the twins came home last night. Raine is just too happy to divert all attention to his Tito bragging about cars, trucks and buses (and their various states of collisions and explosions imaginable); demonstrating the latest dance steps (mostly butt-shaking and break dancing a la-Raine) he’s learned in the last couple of months; and of course showing-off his new crayon set, the colors of which he can identify correctly 80 percent of the time. While I am just elated I can work this Saturday in peace. I think Raine is too happy either that he got rid of his (most of the time) kill-joy mommy that I even got a flying kiss when I bid him goodbye at our doorstep this morning.
