Although it took only 3 days after ‘Pa’s death (on October 3) for all 4 of us (his children) to arrive home, his wake lasted for a week at our residence in Bicol. We had to inform all of his siblings (residing in different parts of Luzon) and wait for them to arrive, to pay their last respects. My grandfather (‘Pa’s father) died 20 years ago while my grandmother lives close by.

‘Pa has a huge family and he was the eldest child. He’s got one full-brother and 11 half-siblings: 6 maternal and 5 paternal. Right, my grandparents separated when ‘Pa was barely a kid (both re-married), he was then raised by his paternal grandmother.

Before I confuse you all with our complicated family tree, it is important to note that it was mandatory to let the clan know. Though most of them we haven’t seen in years. Except for ‘Pa’s sporadic rounds of individual visits in the past, we didn’t have any close contact with them. We weren’t particularly close with each of their families, but given the chance to get together, we are not of bad relations either.

But I guess blood is thick as it can be. Except for one on each side who are currently working overseas, all of ‘Pa’s siblings came home. Despite the mournful circumstance, it was like a family reunion. Well, almost. If only the one who brought such event is not lying cold in a white rectangular box.

Honestly, I would have wanted a quiet wake (no drinking, no playing cards, no bickering) and be able to mourn in private with my mother and 3 brothers; sans the customs, rituals and traditions. But for 9 days and 8 nights, how could I close our doors to sympathizers (relatives, friends and neighbors) who came in like ant colonies?

I guess how good a person one was is measured by how many people came at your wake and funeral. I welcomed those people (even the local drunk who most probably just came for the free booze) and took consolation at their testimonials of how they’ve been inspired and touched by Pa’s greatness and goodness in so many different ways.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
‘Pa at Rizal Beach, Gubat. Sorsogon. Photo taken 18 April 2005

Indeed Pa’s memory lives on, in each and every one of them who have got a good (even bad) story of him to tell. Those stories kept me warm at ‘Pa’s wake, that and the belief that he has joined our Lord’s Table at heaven’s banquet.

A child’s birth may be a miracle but not until you’ve experienced a loved one’s death first-hand will you be able to fully comprehend what life is really all about.

Life goes on for me (and my family) but deep in my heart, I will mourn ‘Pa’s death forever.