The Journey. It’s Mine. [My personal take on love, life, parenting and blogging.]

Today we had 12 hours of brownout. Yes, you read it right. 12. hours. of. brownout.

It was just freakin’ irritating, considering the summer weather and my desperate need to go online on a regular basis.

I didn’t want my blood boiling of frustration so I slept the whole afternoon. I do not have a UPS, and so it irritates me more when the electricity here decides to flicker on and off. Anybody will agree with me that it sucks big time if you are in the middle of a composing a blog entry or paying your online bills, when the electricity goes off. Only in the Philippines, eh?!

Not to mention what that does to the computer, your home theater lighting (which we do not have!) and the rest of your home appliances.

Did i already say the we had 12 hours of brownout today?!!

I am writing this because I want to help Reyna Elena’s campaign and also because I want to share what I know about Pinays in the barrio who are married (or even just involved) to somebody from a foreign country.

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First of all, it pains me to hear of a story that a Filipina is being accused of a scam. It pains me to know that a foreigner feels like he is being scammed by his Filipina lady love and her family.

I grew up in this small barrio and after 18 years of being away, I went back home to stay (for how long, I don’t know!).

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Since I bought my first cellphone in 1998, i stopped wearing a watch! Who needs a watch anyway when u have a cellphone that tells the time? And most probably, your cellphone is always at arm’s length, if not attached to your body anyway.

Besides, I’ve got problems with watches, the metal band will make my skin itch while the leather strap will smell awful because it accumulates sweat. Yuck. Ha ha ha ha. The black rubber watch band only appealed to me in grade school anyway.

Since then, I never bother acquiring a new watch. To me, the cellphone overrode it’s function. What about you? Jaeger LeCoultre, anyone?

I don’t know exactly since when, but I have always known that my birthstone is pearl. Now i just found out that for the month of June, birthstone is alexandrite, moonstone or pearl.

Alexandrite, apparently changes color from red to green depending on the light source. –wow! my kinda stone. He he.

Moonstone sounds mystical but is actually is a mineral that as opposed to the sunstone (reddish color due to infused hematite), is lacking in color, though it glows. — i like this one, kinda mysterious!

Pearl i think is the most elegant among the three. Even the fake (synthetic) ones are beautiful, right? But I really wouldn’t know if a pearl is real or not! Well, aside from the cost, of course and where you buy it from.

Tahitian pearls or not, to me it really doesn’t matter!

I just do not know how true if all that pearls bring to the wearer…are tears.

The whole day, all I did was rest in bed. Well…not really the whole day! I’ve been online on and off — reading, blog-hopping, checking emails, etc. Those… in between going back to bed and (tv) channel surfing.

I took a bath before lunchtime. Then I went back to my lazy morning routine. I’ve been convincing Raine to take the afternoon nap with me, but he wouldn’t budge. He was too busy assembling an old train set he found in one of the old boxes. After all, I thought, it is raining outside, a good bed weather.

After which, I’ve been dozing lightly - on and off - between trying to compose blog entries for my problogs — but without success. Around 3 pm, I must have finally went to la-la-land, only to be woken up by Raine whispering stuff in my ear. Like…”mommy…open your eyes…look at this” or mommy…where is my green car?”

Gosh.

Can I be whisked somewhere far, in one of the Branson cabins perhaps?! Only so I can hopefully sleep in peace without intermittent distractions (read: the internet and my 5-year-old son!!).

It is still raining outside…but I gotta get my act together and BLOG.

This week was Andrew Lloyd Webber week at American Idol. I thought I’d never see such a combination.

I guess that was a great move — tested whether any of the contestants can really sing.

All the hair (well, not really all!!) in my body went up watching the whole show. Ha ha. A full orchestra seem to have that effect on me.

The fact that David Cook is a great talent, has been proven once more. This guy can sing anything, of any genre — and then he brings the house down in practically every performance.

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I keep telling myself I need a break. Not a break from the work that I do, but more of a break from motherhood in general. I badly need a little bit of me-time I guess. Hopefully to think clearly about stuff and life in general. Maybe even just to pray. He he.

The only problem is that, it isn’t easy to get away. It’s hard enough to plan, save and prepare and the moment I get a single second of me-time, I miss my son. I just couldn’t shake him out of my system, even if there are times I really wanna shake him out even for just awhile!

The worse thing is that, I will end up regretting that I did not bring him along. My life just isn’t the same anymore, motherhood happened and this isn’t like I can file a L. O. A anytime I feel that it has gotten too much. All mothers have too much on their plate. All parents for that matter! They all deal with it somehow. And they survive!

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We do not get unlimited chances to have all the things we want in life.
Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life.

– Dr. Addison Montgomery, Grey’s Anatomy Season 3 Ender

Raine was!

The whole weekend, my brother’s little band was here in the house for practice. Last night, they performed in a friend’s 18th birthday. In fact, two of the band members are still here today…working on a couple of songs.

Raine is still having the time of day!

I got tagged by Gay of What’s up UP Los Baños? My goodness, ngayong ko lang na-realize na si Gay pala ang author ng WUUPLB?! He he.

Here goes…

Student number? – 89-43***

College? — College of Arts and Sciences  (CAS)

Ano ang course mo? — BS Chemistry

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We’re having warm, sunny days once more. Raine is just too happy playing outside and picking “flowers”.

Flowers like these:

Ain’t he sweet?! Well, Mothers’ Day is just around the corner!

At least my body is!

If it isn’t not falling asleep at all, it is being awake in odd hours in the middle of the night at dawn. Like 1.30 to 2.00 am. Shit. I am really getting old! The only other people in the world who I know have such awful sleeping habits are my parents.

We call it “tulog manok”. You know, like the chicken - eyes maybe closed but it’s really as alert as awake. I hate it when my parents do that. Especially now that I live with my mother and she gets up with the littlest stirring in the house. Like tonight, that either my cellphone or my PC is still on. I even turned on the TV in the hope that I can sleep back. But with no luck. I’ve been up since 1.45!

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I can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the too much caffeine in me, maybe it’s the heavy rain pounding the roof.

Old habits die hard, we never can sleep when its raining this hard. Because we never had a sturdy house, we should always be alert if this developed into a typhoon. Sana hindi. This house isn’t 100% typhoon-proof yet.

I cannot even watch TV! The rain goes on and off, and so is the TV’s signal.

Yeah…this is one of those nights that my mind is racing like hell and can’t stop. Too much stuff in there, I guess.

Thank God there is still electricity and internet! Otherwise, I may need a sleeping pill! Which by the way I don’t have right now. Wala ring beer, nothing alcoholic in this house!

After all these years, i still do not have real savings accounts. What I mean by real is the type that you don’t withdraw money from –unless it’s a matter of life and death.

I know I should have a fat one already. In no time, Raine will be in a school for “big” boys. What if he gets really sick?

But I don’t wanna think about the negative stuff wherein you’ll need money so bad. One cannot be prepared enough for something like that. Things like that, solves itself at the right time. Besides, I don’t wanna be a worry wart like somebody I know!

By the time Raine enters grade school, the twins are out of college and hopefully each has a job of his own. I wish! I wish and hope.

Don’t you know by now?! I’m the live-by-the-fly, moment-to-moment-kinda gal? I don’t have a 10 year-plan, much less a 1 year-plan! What I have (as Miranda Bailey would say) is a right now plan.

And yes…I’ll take that worry wart, anytime.

In October, it will be 3 years since my father passed away. Unlike my brothers (esp. my mother) I have never had any form of communication with him, like in a dream or something, since then.

Except from the vivid memories I have of him that I have kept dear in my heart, there’s just nothing after that.

Until this afternoon that I felt him strongly. Maybe I was dreaming. He didn’t say a word though, he was just there, watching me in my little corner here in the house, peeking over my shoulder while I was in front of my PC and watching TV at the foot of my bed — as if saying…hey there anak! you are sooo busy you don’t think of me anymore.

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Sometimes we are just blind. Blind from the blessings and the love we have in our lives. It’s just a shame that by the time we recognize it, they’re all gone.

From Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet:

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer
in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is
clearer from the plain.

What if it isn’t just your friend? What if you didn’t part form your friend, but instead took him/her for granted?

I don’t wanna grow old - sitting in my rocking chair - thinking that I should have appreciatedmore the ones I love. That I should been more showy and demonstrative of my affections. That I should have given due credit when credit was due. That I have been more appreciative of everything and everyone else around me.

Is your level of contentment too high? Have you told somebody today that you appreciate him? Have you hugged somebody today, just because? DO. Before it ever gets too late.

Appreciate all your blessings - big or small - and more of it will come down pouring on you.

Recently, I have been discussing shopping sprees with a friend of mine. I’m like a man when shopping — should be limited to a few choices and the fewest shops if possible. He he. That been said, I hate to window shop too!

And then, once I found the right fit, the right size, then that will be the brand that i will keep coming back to. So if it’s Jag or Mr. Lee jeans, it’s gonna be Jag or Mr Lee jeans for a long, long time. Like Triumph. Or Avon. He he he.

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Susmaryosep! Why are Filipino OFWs and the government have to pay blood money just so to prevent someone’s beheading (or something else)?!

Have they all forgotten the basics? When in Rome do what Romans do. And YES, that’s including following the laws.

Kaya na nga ayokong manood ng news sa gabi eh! Naha-high blood ako sa kabobohan ng iba!

Kasi, the fact remains that even under self-defense, killing is still killing. IMHO. If under the law of where ever the crime was committed, the consequence you have to face is death by disembowelment (or barbecued by fiberglass columns, my gosh!), then it is by diembowelment you shall die! It is just as simple as that!

I thought my “other” readers finally came out of lurking! He he. As it turns out, I don’t have 13 new readers at all. Ha ha ha.

Dream on, Glo. This isn’t a Wilmington real estate, for crying out loud! Ha ha ha.

Only 13 new spam comments that slipped through the “filter”.

It’s raining hard again…YOU have a nice day!

Well, I am torn between David Cook and Michael Johns. Oh my, tough choice.

Michael Johns has maturity that shows in his singing style as opposed to the playful ‘cockiness’ of David Cook (simply because he is a bit younger in age and is single). But man, they’re both hot. Sizzling.

[I bet Paula Abdul can’t decide on which to take home! Ha ha ha.]

Obvious ba? Yeah, I do watch American Idol being shown at Star World. Susme, ano naman katapat sa ABS? Wheel of Fortune ni Kris at TV Patrol! Hmp.

Sorry…but Ramielle Malubay’s performance is deteriorating. Carly Smithson is waAAAay too cool!

Grabe. Gabby Concepcion is back in Philippine Show Business.

Ok…he looks older (sana maturer din!) and bulkier, but I guess…more handsome than ever?

It’s not the looks though that draws me to Gabby. It ’s that voice. And those lips! Ha ha ha.

(Hala! Wag kayong magagalit…he he he!)

From tonight’s news, he said that that his first two days here is very emotional. Mixed emotions! What with his daughters - left and right - sprouting like mushrooms?! Susme.
I wonder how he feels watching TV here, with Sharon in all the product commercials. He he.

I’ve been bitten by the last song syndrome.

I used to have a cassette tape of Runaway Bride’s soundtrack. Can’t find it though. In that track, this one’s my favorite.

(Thank God for YouTube!)

Never Saw Blue Like That by Shawn Colvin

Today…we took a walk up the street
And picked a flower and climbed the hill
Above the lake

And secret thoughts were said aloud
We watched the faces in the clouds
Until the clouds have blown away

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