So some kid was screaming that made me left the internet shop last Thursday. I went into this bicolano fastfood called Graceland. I ordered a tall glass of iced tea. Since it was so hot due to the brownout that day and I was so thirsty, it didn’t take me long to finish the glass. I wanted to buy more time before the crew send me away. They’re polite of course. Even if they see you staying longer than normal.

I opened my bag. I saw one blank notebook. An excess of Raine’s school notebooks. There was a pen too so I decided to write. Besides, my handwriting badly needs practice. Even the bank teller is complaining that my signature is different.

Oh well…that’s the downside to using the keyboard always.

Below is what I wrote:

June  11, 2009

3:07 pm

Graceland, Sorsogon City

In 2004, I started blogging .I didn’t have my computer at home then. So I used to write my blog entries at home in an old notebook. I did this often on those sleepless nights I had. While Raine is sound asleep, I put my thoughts on pen and paper. Later the next day - at an opportunity to get online – I then publish what I wrote.

You see I never kept journals my whole life. I only had page 1 in second grade (in a so-called diary) where I wrote my thoughts for that particular day. My brother found it and read it aloud for everyone to hear.

That very day, I promised myself I won’t write anything on paper again — at least not my thoughts. I was both angry and ashamed that day. Angry at my brother for that intrusion of my privacy and ashamed that others knew what I was feeling.  It was like your heart and soul were bared for everyone present. Like when your crush found out that you like him! Ohhh…what a shame really!

Remember the movies ‘Bridges of Madison County’ and ‘Mamma Mia’? If you’ve seen those movies, you’ll see that the kid(s) found the mom’s  journal/diary and read about her most intimate secrets – secrets that she will carry to her grave.

The mystery of such a thing is I think gone these days. What with blogs becoming the bloggers’ personal journal.  Raine will read daragang-magayon.com (this blog) in a few years and I wonder what he’ll think of it. Unconsciously, I blog here for Raine. On top of blogging for my friends, for them to know what’s up with me.

I blog for Raine, so that in time he’ll realize that he is the most important thing in my life. When I got lost in the dark seas, Raine became my true North. Really he helped me find the way home – literally and figuratively.  He even helped me find myself.

——–

Oooppss…I’m cutting it here. What I wrote was too long I decided to divide it into 3 blog entries. I’m just supposed to go to the grocery right now. But I wanted to check this blog due to the problems I’m experiencing at home.

Bye muna!