The Journey. It’s Mine. [My personal take on love, life, parenting and blogging.]

That’s the very question I was asked this morning by the ChowKing counter girl in Sorsogon. That’s because she knows me as Glo already (they ask you your first name, must be protocol to have a personalized service) because I am a regular costumer everyday in the past month.

That’s just because ChowKing is open as early as 7 am. I often go there after bringing Raine to his school to have a small breakfast (i can’t eat anything heavy at this hour) and to just hang out until the internet shop I go to daily, opens.

Yesterday, I wasn’t there early. My mother had to bring Raine in the morning because I had flares of arthritic pains. I just went to the city at around 11 am and stayed until 4 pm in time for the school’s dismissal.

It’s funny how other people around memorize your daily routine. Even the girls at the internet shop already know that I need the internet right away. Because I am always the first costumer, the A/C is often not turned on yet and one of the girls is still sweeping the floors. He he.

The ChowKing girl this morning even asked me which school my kid goes to. Small talk you know…I just replied politely. Besides she is always nice to me.

Well…when i found that I was having a boy, I admit I was too happy. I’ve always wanted a boy for a firstborn. Why? Because I never had a kuya and I felt it is better that boys are the panganays. So they’ll be more responsible. Especially if younger siblings are girls. You’ll learn early on that girls should be take cared of.Many people might disagree.

But you see I am the edest and I’ve got 3 brothers. Because I am too dependable an Ate, they became sissys! (read: not very responsible!).Would have been a different story if they were the eldest. Sila unang mag-aral apra makapag-aral naman ako.

Given such a responsibility that big, failing isn’t an option.Going back to having a son.Imagine my glee when I found out that I’m having Raine? I was really over the moon! I’ve always been in love with a guy who treats his mother well (mama’s boy has a diferent definition in my book) and who is not squeamish with doing the house chores.

You know….somebody who takes charge and is uber responsible and dependable. Somebody who respects women (because he’s got a mom and and sisters). Somebody who doesn’t take bcbsnc literally.

I want Raine to grow up as one. This early, I’m traning him to help me with the grocery bags. I let him carry the weight he can carry. He sweeps our floor regularly — something I didn’t do when I was 6. He religiously puts his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Little things like that. He can take a bath by himself, di nga lang makahugas ng puwet nya pag nag-poop.

I was already in grade 4 when I learned how to take a bath by myself!

In the photo above, I left Raine guarding our grocery bags while I went to the Mercury drugstore across the road. I found him with that facial expression! Ha ha.

Well…with my son Raine, I have a bodyguard and luggage porter in one paglaki nya ;) Hehehe.

In the mornings, Raine and I are usually out in the road at around 6 am. Waiting for our ride.

Raine badly needs haircut. 2 X 3 daw dapat.

If you haven’t read it, here’s part 1.

Whether I am still here or not when Raine discovers this blog, he too will realize how crazy, exciting, difficult and adventurous a life his mother has lived and is still living.

We all are afraid of death. (Well I guess except for those who with terminal illnesses have already accepted their fate.) But death is something that will come to us whether we like it or not, whether we are prepared or not. Nobody lives forever. Even if we want to.

(more…)

…you are supposed to:

REST
SLEEP SOME MORE
HAVE PEACE AND QUIET

instead (on Saturday alone), I:

barked at Raine.
got mad at A.
didn’t get much sleep.

Heck, I just want to sleep this Sunday!

Raine almost didn’t get up this morning. Me too. The 430 alarm already went off 3X and I still keep putting it on snooze. Raine on the other hand, finally got up at 545. I had to carry him from the bed to the kitchen table. By this time, tapos na ako maligo.

He is so heavy already! I almost couldn’t walk. Anyways, lambing lang the carrying part. So he’d get out of bed. That trick worked this morning. So it was all good.

It’s Friday and I understand that all the tiredness of the week have accumulated. I understand when poeple are late on Fridays. Could be also that they partied early (Thursday night).

Anyways…I haven’t had a day job for 3 years now. So that Fridays aren’t that special anymore. But now that Raine goes to school, we both are looking forward to Fridays and the weekend ahead.

If we were still in LB, today is Laguna day. Holiday. Walang Pasok. Birthday ni Jose Rizal.

Just great!

Alright! It’s Monday again and I was off to an early start. I was able to beat the alarm clock today. I got up at 4 am while it went off at 430…

Raine though had a sleepy start. He finally got up at 530 am and wouldn’t take his breakfast of pancakes. He just drank his milk and went on to take a bath..

So we brought the pancakes to school. At the waiting area, he ate the pancakes, gave me an awkward hug and went inside. A waited a few minutes until Raine is out of sight and then I went on to find breakfast. The power of the pancakes I had at 4 am are already expired by 7 am.

So I had breakfast. Afterwards, to the internet shop. I’m still here.

How’s your Monday?

So some kid was screaming that made me left the internet shop last Thursday. I went into this bicolano fastfood called Graceland. I ordered a tall glass of iced tea. Since it was so hot due to the brownout that day and I was so thirsty, it didn’t take me long to finish the glass. I wanted to buy more time before the crew send me away. They’re polite of course. Even if they see you staying longer than normal.

I opened my bag. I saw one blank notebook. An excess of Raine’s school notebooks. There was a pen too so I decided to write. Besides, my handwriting badly needs practice. Even the bank teller is complaining that my signature is different.

Oh well…that’s the downside to using the keyboard always.

Below is what I wrote:

June  11, 2009

3:07 pm

Graceland, Sorsogon City

In 2004, I started blogging .I didn’t have my computer at home then. So I used to write my blog entries at home in an old notebook. I did this often on those sleepless nights I had. While Raine is sound asleep, I put my thoughts on pen and paper. Later the next day - at an opportunity to get online – I then publish what I wrote.

You see I never kept journals my whole life. I only had page 1 in second grade (in a so-called diary) where I wrote my thoughts for that particular day. My brother found it and read it aloud for everyone to hear.

(more…)

I’m still in this internet shop where I hang-out most of the day while Raine is in school. Today the brownout started at 9am. All the computers are running here, except the aircon. I wanted to stay more, despite the heat (4 pm pa labas ni raine), but then this small kid started screaming at the top of her lungs. The she started banging the tables! Grrr.

The mom is chatting with (hopefully the kid’s dad) someone and I’m sure the kid is bored and bothered by the heat in here.

Anyways…I’m out of this place.

I need some refreshment.

Sana ito:

Pero okay na ako sa isang super lamig, large iced tea!

At the waiting area for parents in Raine’s school, I did some small talks with other moms and grandmoms in the first two days. In the first two days only, when both Raine and I are starting to get used to our individual schedules.

Afterwhich, I’m off to the coffee and internet shops to relax first and then go online. I have to blog  and surf the web, after all. So the other parents just see me there, 2 minutes before class dismissal. We just exchange smiles and some nods. I now refrain from going there too early. I hate waiting and besides I don’t want to fall asleep again in that steel bench. Ang init pa ng bubong. Steel roof without kisame. Under is like an oven, I’m telling you.

5 minutes in that waiting shed/area and I’m ready to pass out!

They must be wondering what I do and whether I’m married or if Raine has got siblings. I already memorized how the questions will go, depending on what my answer is. I’ve learned now not to divulge too many personal infos, especially the fact that I am a single mom. Most moms stay in the waiting area the whole day. They even eat and sleep there. I don’t understand how they can take the heat and the old same background you see every single minuute of the day. Raine and I go to downtown for a change of phase on lunch breaks. But that’s just us.

We go for aircon shops even if we have packed lunch. We just buy the drinks (or 1 viand for Raine)  from them and we can borrow set of plate and spoon-and-fork, already. Our favorite is the Chowling fastfood. They have a nice C.R. Besides, you don’t have to carry lots of money before you can enter the fastfood stores.

Today I just found out… that tomorrow (June 12)  is a holiday here. Independence Day of course! For the first time in 3 years, I’m actually glad that there’s a 3-day weekend.

So this mom-on-the-go can truly relax this weekend. I love it!

So yesterday (June 9) was my 36th birthday. Like what I did on Monday, I took Raine to school. On my waiting time, I hang out in different internet cafes.

Raine’s lunch break is 11 am. Then classes resume at 1pm. Yesterday, after having lunch and bringing Raine back to school, I went home.

My mother came back to the city at 3 pm to fetch Raine.

ME? I slept the whole afternoon off! Ha ha ha.

Actually, I should have gone looked for the best diet pills. Would have been a great birthday gift to me.

This has been a truly long day. Raine’s first day in the big school and we both have big adjustments to make. Classes are from 7am-4pm, Mondays to Fridays. Since we live in the barrio where an empty jeepney is a rarity on rush hours, I decided we should leave as early as 6. By 630 we were already there and Raine was the first today to arrive in his class. Even the teacher wasn’t there yet. But then, better early than late.

Waking up early might have been a struggle. But at least we made it today. Me at 430am and Raine at 5am. I set two alarms, 15 minutes apart. You know…just in case I miss the first one. I have a history of not noticing any alarm clock ringing, eventhough the rest of the building has. Fortunately I did hear the two alarms this morning. But really, the truth is… I hate wake-up alarms.

To make the story short, we survived today. After all, tomorrow is another day.

Even though I’ve seen better days, what’s important is that Raine is happy adjusting to that school and his new classmates and teachers. I’m so out of shape that by 4 pm I was like a wilting plant. Raine was still his usual energetic self. When we got home, I kept telling him I am awfully tired. He quipped:”bakit mommy? ahhh…gurang ka na siguro!

You may be right Raine!

In fact I was so tired that I fell asleep in the school’s parents’ waiting area. While sitting down and waiting for class dismissal. I might be snoring, I’m not sure.

Oh well… I turn a year older tomorrow!

I just found this photo today. I’m guessing Raine took it. That’s me in my corner! Raine is always playing with my extra cellphone. He even discovered that there are several settings in taking pictures. Like this one, parang lumang picture.

see my notes on Flickr

That is the corner where I blog, do business (loading business) and get in touch with friends and love ones. That’s also where I watch movies when I feel like it.  Even in the middle of the night.

Also, in this corner….I can go to work even in my sleeping wear. No need for office clothes nor breeches.

Last minute shopping is something I truly hate. Especially on Christmas holidays. It’s like there a deadline. Well there is indeed a deadline: Christmas day.

However for back to school shopping, I didn’t pay much attention to it. When I was in grade school, on first days of school the teacher will give each student a list of the stuff to buy. I’m guessing it is still the same now. So that back then it is safe to attent the first day of school with just a couple of notebooks, a pad of paper and 1 pencil (or ballpen). These I plan to buy this weekend.

Last month I already bought Raine one rubber shoes and one black shoes. Also a school bag, a new set of underwears and socks. We bought them right away after enrollment. Then when he and lola went to Bulacan, my brother bought him sets of shirts and shorts, and plain white sandos that should go with his white polo uniform. The uniform shorts I will take care of later. ( At least we don’t have to shop for Ferrari parts!) It’s toxic these days in sewing shops. Besides it is only sometime in July where they will be forced to come in uniforms.

Next Monday, June 8…I guess we’ll be ready to go. Nagpa-practice na si Raine matulog at magising ng maaga. Kaso ako, di pa sanay! Ha ha ha!

Last night, my mother txtd: she sid I should call because Raine wants me to. So I did.

Here’s what Raine said:

Mommy…musta ka dyan? Miss na kita…

Sa gabi umiiyak ako kasi iniisip kita eh.

Then I heard sobs…

I was on the verge of crying but I didn’t cry. Because I didn’t want him to cry more.

I just noticed, ang laki na ng boses nya!

Time really flies. There was a time he couldn’t leave my side. Now he goes on trips even without me.  But if it is me going somewhere? He always insists on going with me! Hmmm…double standard. He he.