The Journey. It’s Mine. [Raine’s Mom, Problogger, Techie-wannabe, Wheelchair-Traveler]

The last time I window-shopped for baby cribs, I was alone. Looking back now, I cannot even remember what I was feeling or looking for in a crib back then. I know it should have been a sturdy one that could go down the generation or at least be used by the siblings that would come after the first baby.

But I really had no time then to think along those lines, I was just thinking what my budget can afford. So I ended up buying a small “disposable” one.

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Now it’s my turn. Ready?

Sing!

I only knew you for a while
I never saw your smile
’til it was time to go
Time to go away (time to go away)

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Sometimes I surprise myself. I think I have always bitten more than I could chew. But I chewed it anyway, even if I almost choked to death in the process.

This is one good time as any to sit back and check on myself. Can I really handle all these things I take on and now have? Am I happy, even if these things keep me on my toes all the time?

Ever since, I’ve always taken more than my plate can handle. If you ask my mother, she would say I was running even before I could learn to walk. In fact, she would still say that I still do not walk and that I am still running.

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Today we had 12 hours of brownout. Yes, you read it right. 12. hours. of. brownout.

It was just freakin’ irritating, considering the summer weather and my desperate need to go online on a regular basis.

I didn’t want my blood boiling of frustration so I slept the whole afternoon. I do not have a UPS, and so it irritates me more when the electricity here decides to flicker on and off. Anybody will agree with me that it sucks big time if you are in the middle of a composing a blog entry or paying your online bills, when the electricity goes off. Only in the Philippines, eh?!

Not to mention what that does to the computer, your home theater lighting (which we do not have!) and the rest of your home appliances.

Did i already say the we had 12 hours of brownout today?!!

I keep telling myself I need a break. Not a break from the work that I do, but more of a break from motherhood in general. I badly need a little bit of me-time I guess. Hopefully to think clearly about stuff and life in general. Maybe even just to pray. He he.

The only problem is that, it isn’t easy to get away. It’s hard enough to plan, save and prepare and the moment I get a single second of me-time, I miss my son. I just couldn’t shake him out of my system, even if there are times I really wanna shake him out even for just awhile!

The worse thing is that, I will end up regretting that I did not bring him along. My life just isn’t the same anymore, motherhood happened and this isn’t like I can file a L. O. A anytime I feel that it has gotten too much. All mothers have too much on their plate. All parents for that matter! They all deal with it somehow. And they survive!

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I can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the too much caffeine in me, maybe it’s the heavy rain pounding the roof.

Old habits die hard, we never can sleep when its raining this hard. Because we never had a sturdy house, we should always be alert if this developed into a typhoon. Sana hindi. This house isn’t 100% typhoon-proof yet.

I cannot even watch TV! The rain goes on and off, and so is the TV’s signal.

Yeah…this is one of those nights that my mind is racing like hell and can’t stop. Too much stuff in there, I guess.

Thank God there is still electricity and internet! Otherwise, I may need a sleeping pill! Which by the way I don’t have right now. Wala ring beer, nothing alcoholic in this house!

Sometimes we are just blind. Blind from the blessings and the love we have in our lives. It’s just a shame that by the time we recognize it, they’re all gone.

From Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet:

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer
in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is
clearer from the plain.

What if it isn’t just your friend? What if you didn’t part form your friend, but instead took him/her for granted?

I don’t wanna grow old - sitting in my rocking chair - thinking that I should have appreciatedmore the ones I love. That I should been more showy and demonstrative of my affections. That I should have given due credit when credit was due. That I have been more appreciative of everything and everyone else around me.

Is your level of contentment too high? Have you told somebody today that you appreciate him? Have you hugged somebody today, just because? DO. Before it ever gets too late.

Appreciate all your blessings - big or small - and more of it will come down pouring on you.

Susmaryosep! Why are Filipino OFWs and the government have to pay blood money just so to prevent someone’s beheading (or something else)?!

Have they all forgotten the basics? When in Rome do what Romans do. And YES, that’s including following the laws.

Kaya na nga ayokong manood ng news sa gabi eh! Naha-high blood ako sa kabobohan ng iba!

Kasi, the fact remains that even under self-defense, killing is still killing. IMHO. If under the law of where ever the crime was committed, the consequence you have to face is death by disembowelment (or barbecued by fiberglass columns, my gosh!), then it is by diembowelment you shall die! It is just as simple as that!

What do we need to do to get into debt relief?

First rule of thumb is: spend only what your budget can afford.

Yeah right! Easier said than done.

Second rule of thumb is: leave your credit cards at home when going shopping or malling.

That is if you can bring enough cash with you!

Third rule of thumb:  if you do not have enough cash with you, don’t go out of your house!

Ha ha ha ha.

With my last employer, I enjoyed 8 years of comprehensive health insurance. In that province, that said employer’s HMO coverage is one of the best, if not the best!

However, I am really not a sickly person. To tell you honestly, if I didn’t get pregnant, I only benefited from that health insurance during the APEs. On the one occasion I really needed it (child birth), I couldn’t be covered because of a legal technicality — I am not married.

I did not really mind then, even though that widened the hole in my pocket. I was just furious that the coverage couldn’t be extended to my child afterwards, because of the fact that he was born out of wedlock.

The HMO coverage would have been a family insurance — and since the family I have is not the one normally defined in such a society, I either had to accept that sitting down…or I could do something about it.

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My 5-year-old was just singing “every day sunshine…”. I don’t know where he got that line (most probably in pre-school) but I just said: “no! not everyday sunny. everyday rain”. He said again: “yeah mommy, not everyday me (everyone calls him Raine!) but rain!” while pointing upwards in the sky.

Yeah. I’ve almost forgotten what warm sunshine is like. This has been the second week that we are under heavy, continuous downpour.

What will you do? Nothing really — either prepare to stay indoors all the time or let your little boy out in the rain to play (and bathe!).

BUT. I just realized that life is not all sunshine. It rains sometimes or even most of the time. And even if I hate it, I just need to learn how sing in the rain.

Life is short. I don’t want to keep complaining about the rain my whole life. Also, life isn’t a game. Life can be a sunny day or a rainy day. Could also be something in between. Like my friend said, life isn’t an exact science.

SO, you can just either bet your money in an online casino or just put your dimes in the bank.

You win some, you lose some. Either way, it’s still gonna rain! ha ha ha!

Here I go again, lost in the world wide web. Each time I get online, I end up getting lost. Like for example I would start by checking my emails (and replying) and then would go to reading my RSS subscriptions (which is a LOT, my waking hours is not enough to read all even on a daily basis).

And then of course once I start reading other people’s blogs, that’s when I start getting astray. The moment I start clicking hyperlinks in one blog post, the clicking wouldn’t stop. And on the side I have google always open in one tab and while reading I will search google for a word or a term, whether related to what I am currently reading or not. That, or whether a word or topic or a name pops on inside my head.

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it’s ready to go

wherever the road leads.

anytime, anywhere

never too long

let’s go.

I never kept a diary. Looking back in my younger years, I rely on just the memories.  Between the good ones and the bad ones, you remember mostly the good ones. The brain has this tendency to protect itself I guess, so it is selective in keeping the details of the bad memories. So that through time the details become fuzzy. In your old age - with dementia and all - your memory bank becomes blank OR intermittent depending on what life episodes choose to flash back.

Four years of blogging here…I had/have thoughts here and there…stashed somewhere in the archives. Especially the first two years when I wrote all I felt and thought. These days I tend to just write what I wanted to write — sometimes in riddles when I am confused myself.

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Last month, I crammed because I took a break at the beginning of the month.

Now I am almost cramming, because I’m off to Manila on Saturday to catch the plane to Bohol on Sunday.

My biggest problem is that I don’t have a decent traveling bag.

I have always thought of getting a smaller, local (read: cheaper) version of this fabulous Helen Rae Carry-on Luggage that’s perfect for weekend getaways.

I really wish my backpack days aren’t over (my back will kill me if I try to put an adult backpack on it!), because backpacks are way cheaper.

Besides, backpacks are cool!

BUT, I may have to get one small, cheap one of this before we leave.

This is not a paid post, by the way!